Memoirs Of A Devil
by City Girl Dreamer
Summary: Dante is happy-go-lucky, fearless and brave. Well...that's what his mask shows anyway...so what's under that mask? Angst. Dante-Centered.
1. Mother

**I have never written a story like this before. No romance, no yaoi...nothing. Just pure angst.**

**I don't know why I wrote this... Ah well...**

_**Warning: **Errrm....spoilers...angst...that's about it...._

_**Disclaimer: **There was no contract declaring I owned Devil May Cry when I looked through the games boxes. Damn._

**ENJOY!**

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My Mother's Touch

Unknown to most people, Dante had a mask.

A façade that was kept up on the hour, every hour. Any day, every day. 24/7.

He hadn't always had the mask. Back then, he didn't need it…he was playful young boy who had a mother who loved him, a father who was proud of him and a brother who was his best friend. Dante had everything was he was young. He didn't need a mask…didn't have to act…

Dante was genuinely happy and didn't harbour one terrible, angst-ridden thought. Until one night, father didn't return home. Father was no longer seen around the house. His mother cried and wept for the first few days. Sometimes, if he was really quiet at night, he would hear her weeping through the walls. His mother was upset and so Dante made jokes and played around, knowing it would make her happy.

His brother on the other hand was angry. Vergil no longer played with him…no longer mucked about with him…he didn't even crack a smile anymore. He was angry and Dante knew it. Why he was angry, Dante didn't know. It wasn't father's fault he had to leave…wasn't his fault he never came back home. Or was it? Dante couldn't understand. What he did understand was the keeping all that anger bottled up would be unhealthy for Vergil. And so, Dante pestered him, annoyed him and infuriated him. He knew that every time a fist connected to his face, his brother was letting off steam…each punch was making his brother feel better… if just a few measly punches were cheering his brother up…then Dante could take them.

Dante knew that his mother and his brother needed him to act 'normal'…for their sakes. So Dante did. No one saw his unhappiness that shone through his eyes…no one heard the silent tears that fell on to the pillow at night.

_And so, the first piece of the mask was created._

Eventually, things went back to normal…or as normal as they could go.

Dante still kept up his mask that he had worked on for so hard. No one could see that he was still upset or angry and that was fine by him. As long as they were happy then so was he…no matter what he truly felt like underneath.

Unfortunately, once again their happiness had been destroyed. None of them had seen it coming. It was totally random and completely unsuspected. Vergil was the one who had seen them coming and went to his family immediately to warn them. His mother had been in the kitchen, and knew at once that her family…her pride and joy was in danger. Dante being truly naïve thought that he and his brother could take on the vicious demons.

He heard the crashing of the windows and went upstairs to investigate. Holding onto Rebellion tightly, he took a deep breathe and entered his mother's bedroom.

Nasty, horrible, blood-thirsty demons were gazing at him from every angle of the room. Not one drop if courage remained in his bones as he stood there frozen. He had no idea where his mother and brother were…but if they were safe then he would steel his nerves and take the bastards on. The demons snarled and sneered at him, baring their sharp, jagged teeth at him.

Then…they pounced…

Time slowed down as Dante watched the demon come nearer towards him. His nerve escaped him and he tensed up, clenching his eyes shut, anticipating the pain. Nothing came though…

Hesitantly, he opened up one eye and froze with fear. He was staring straight into his mother's lovely face…witnessing the beautiful twinkle in her eyes fade out. The demons cackled and vanished…leaving Dante clutching at his dead mother. His mother, who had sacrificed herself for him. His beautiful, beautiful darling mother…

Where was Vergil? Was he dead as well? Did he run away? Had he escaped?

Dante felt tears well up in his eyes, but he refused to let them drop. He had had enough…the demons mocking laugh echoed around his head. From that day on, he made a promise to his mother. No longer would he be afraid…no longer would he get scared…

He was going to be big, brave and powerful. And once he was…he was going to destroy every single demon responsible for his mother's death. No matter how scared he got, he refused to let anyone, demon or not, see his fear.

_And so, the second piece of the mask was created._

Fast forward a few years and here he was. Big, brave and powerful. Not one ounce of fear or sadness in his body. A cocky young man, with a big mouth, a fetish for pizza and a brand new shop. Every man wanted to be him…every woman wanted to do him. No one knew about his family, no one knew about his past.

No one asked and if they did, they certainly didn't get any clear answers.

It was during that time that his mask had wavered. His father was gone, he had lost his mother and now…his brother…

His brother who he hated and loved with every living cell in his body…had left him too. Dante was all alone in this world and he hated it. He couldn't blame his father for his disappearance… he wouldn't even think about blaming his mother for her death.

But he blamed Vergil for everything. If he hadn't turned into such a power hungry monster…if he hadn't help Dante during his fight against Arkham…if he hadn't allowed himself to fall of the edge of that waterfall…

If he…If he…If he…

The world could have been made a lot simpler for Dante. If his brother hadn't left him with their dead mother, then they could have looked out for each other and maybe things would have been different. If his brother hadn't helped him with Arkham, then maybe that flame of hope would never have been ignited and Dante could have died knowing that his brother held only hatred for him. If his brother hadn't fallen of that waterfall, then Dante could have changed him…

If his brother hadn't fallen off that waterfall, then Dante's mask wouldn't have wavered. Lady would never have seen through it. Dante could still be living his life out to the full, but Lady had seen through that mask and Lady had seen the pain and anguish he had…

So Dante had to build his mask up better and thicker…guarding every single emotion. Covering them up with cocky remarks and mocking taunts. Lady soon forgot about the slip of his mask…but occasionally she would send him the odd glance…if only for a second. But she would only see the cockiness and happiness that radiated off the man.

_And so, the third and final piece of the mask was perfected and created._

His mask was a powerful thing…his façade could fool anyone…his act was a thing of beauty.

But then _she _had to come along and ruin it…the mask that took him years to create and perfect. Trish had to look like his mother…had to remind him of his nightmares…had to remind him of memories, both good and bad. She almost destroyed that mask, but Dante kept it up…he had to…

So he went to Mallet Island with her…he fought every demon and monster that came at him. He savoured the rush that it gave him, the thrill that came with each kill. He anticipated a negative welcome…what he hadn't anticipated was his brother.

His brother, who he hated and loved with every single bone in his body, was alive…and then, he killed him. He killed his brother…Vergil was dead because of him. He didn't feel the fear, the sadness. No…when he clutched that amulet, he felt fury. Fury that Mundus had dared to enslave his brother…had dared to force then to fight against each other. Remembering the day they first received their amulets and how happy they were just fuelled his anger. Dante was furious because as he remembered each fight…he remembered how the demon would clutch its head in pain and then vanish…each time the demon saw his amulet, Dante would see through _his _mask. The anguish and terror that shone in the eyes showed him that his brother was still in there somehow. He just didn't know it then…

Keeping up his act…his façade…his mask, Dante journeyed on.

Once more, he was forced back to remember a memory. A memory that haunted his nightmares…once again he was holding his mother's dead body. His mother he had failed to protect…his mother who had died to save him. Trish had just done the exact same thing.

His mask wavered once more... he steeled himself. This was not his mother…this was Trish. A demon created to look like her. She was not her… his mother was long gone and the woman he held now was different.

_But the mask was starting to crumble and break._

The events that followed were happier. He had defeated Mundus, discovered that Trish was still alive and he had once again saved civilization. His business grew more popular, Lady and Trish visited more and life couldn't get any better.

His mask was made of pure concrete now. Nothing would break it, if he had anything to say.

Lady would still give him odd glances but wouldn't press the matter. Trish would look at them confused but didn't question it. Dante was truly the king of acts.

However…

The mask he wore wasn't on the hour, every hour. Any day, every day. 24/7.

When he went to sleep, he couldn't control the nightmares that still haunted him. He couldn't control the fear that seared his veins, the sadness that clouded his mind, the sentimentality that made him weep. The nightmares weren't often…but they weren't rare either.

Trish had discovered that, even the king of acts still had his off days. As she entered Devil May Cry, when she heard the bang overhead, when she rushed up to inspect the damage…nothing prepared her for what she saw.

The big, brave, powerful Demon Slayer, Dante…was thrashing around on the bed. Tears streaming down his face, half mumbled words that slipped from his mouth. Trish was stunned that the true person behind the man that was Dante Sparda…was broken, torn and alone.

She approached the bed reluctantly, knowing that if Dante knew she had seen him like this…he would be devastated. Trish knew of the mask that Dante refused to take off. She knew that he had lost his entire family due to demons. Trish knew that anybody who had experienced such terrible loses, wouldn't be as happy-go-lucky as Dante was.

Said demon hunter gasped and shot up, panting heavily and wiping the tears from his cheeks. Trish cautiously sat down next to him and reached out to touch his shoulder. Dante's head snapped up at the contact and turned to look at her through bleary eyes.

"…Mom…"

The word that had been uttered was soft and desperate. Trish was shocked as Dante lunged at her, clutching at her shoulders as he wept into her neck. Awkwardly, she wrapped her arms around her friends and kissed the top of his head. She worried her lip as his muffled words drifted into her ears.

"I'm sorry…so sorry…mom…I'm sorry…"

_And so, the mask that had been created and perfected was shattered.__ The sadness from father…the fear from mother…and the confusion from brother, flowed freely._

_The mask had been broken and all it took...was a lost mother's touch._

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**...wow...**

**I tried to keep them IC. I think Dante was OCC at the end...oh well...I tried!**

**So...please review. I am a review-whore and I don't even charge you for it! So...please review!**

**Love City Girl**

**x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x**


	2. Brother

**I've decided to add more parts to this. This story wouldn't leave me alone.**

**I'm going to add at least a couple more chapters and then I'm done. One about Sparda and the one about Nero.**

**So...thank you for those who have reviewed so far and...**

**Enjoy!**

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My Mirror Image

Dante used to love mirrors.

He was vain and proud of it. Dante loved himself far too much when he was younger and it was hard _not _to see why. Soft, snowy white hair, flawless porcelain skin and eyes that were so blue, they could put the skies and the oceans to shame.

Dante used to have a mirror in every single room at Devil May Cry, so that whenever he went, he could remind himself of how good he really looked. It was always 'Me, Myself and I' when it came to Dante and a mirror and that was how he liked it.

When he was younger it used to be 'Me, Myself and Vergil' as that was what he saw when he peered into the bathroom mirror. Himself and his twin. Vergil would likewise say the same thing about himself: 'Me, Myself and Dante'.

That was then…this is now.

_Crack._

The first time Dante broke a mirror was after his mother died, Vergil had ran off and he had been placed in a care home. He was not superstitious as he believed that he had been born with bad luck…just look at what happened to his family.

Care homes were no always safe and pretty and nice. The one Dante was in was certainly the very opposite. Without his twin, his best friend, his _other half_, Dante felt vulnerable and lost. The other children didn't seem to notice that he was a beauty…only that he was different.

Their cruel words never stopped and almost every night, Dante had cried himself to sleep. How he wished his brother would come save him, how he wished his mother would still be alive, how he wished for his father to destroy this horrid place…

How he wished he had been born normal…

Dante had been hiding in the bathroom, hoping that he would be able to escape for at least one day…one day of peace…one day without harsh taunts and chilling words. He muffled his sobs in his arm and eventually when the tears ran out, he heaved himself up to his feet and up to the sink.

_Crack._

His twin was staring back at him. The mirror mocking him by showing the one thing he missed the most…the one thing he needed with him. The one thing that had let him down.

"Vergil…"

Dante felt angry. Rage coursed through his veins and bubbled up within him. He clenched one fist and pulled it back and sent it flying through the mirror. Smashing it and destroying it… ruining his twins smirking face with each punch.

"I hate you Verge! I hate you! I hate how you left us! I hate how you left me! I hate how much I need you! I hate how much I love you!"

With each scream and each exclamation, Dante punched the mirror over and over again, faster and faster…not caring about the blood…not caring about the pain, he just carried on and on…hoping that his brother somewhere, would get his message and feel so bad about what he had done that he would come racing to rescue his brother and take him far, far away from this horrible place.

The matron found him the next day, in a pool of blood and broken glass…murmuring one word over and over in his sleep, like a mantra.

"Vergil…Vergil…Vergil…"

_Crack._

The second time he broke a mirror was after the Temen-Ni-Gru incident, where he had witnessed his brother falling off the edge of a cliff into the dark unknown. His hate and his love for his brother only blossomed when his hand was sliced. Dante had returned to Lady with his infamous mask in place, helping her take down demons with a smile and a laugh.

He hoped she had forgotten about the mask wavering and the tear that had escaped his eye. Lady never seemed to bring up the subject again and so he decided that she really had forgotten and so he carried on his act…flirting with her and fighting with her.

Almost returning to the normal Dante Sparda…_almost…_

When Devil May Cry was finally rebuilt and refurbished, Dante just covered up the mirrors and ignored Lady's troubled looks. He avoided any suspicious questions and Lady simply thought it to be another one of Dante's weird attributes. Deep down though, she knew that he missed Vergil and that he couldn't look at a mirror…without looking at Vergil.

_Crack._

It was his bedroom mirror to be exact, the cloth had fallen off and so when Dante gave it a passing glance he had stopped and backtracked his steps. Once again, his twin was peering back out to him, taunting him with a twisted smile. This time Dante could almost hear his twins cold voice reach out to him…

"…_killed me…"_

"…_your fault…"_

"…_reason I'm dead…"_

Dante grasped at his hair in pain as the voices swirled around in his mind getting louder and louder. Their bluntness was cruel and it hurt. It was true what they say…the truth does hurt…

But punching mirror hurts more…

_Crack._

Dante disposed of all the mirrors in his house and simply shrugged off Lady's inquisitions. It was his house and he could do whatever he wanted to it. Then Trish came.

And with Trish came the memories of his family, the pain, the hurt and…the death of his brother. The brother he hated and loved so much. It wasn't fair to pin all the blame on Trish, she couldn't help looking like his mother…she couldn't help it if she brought memories, good and bad, back to him.

But Trish could have helped him by not helping at all.

Once his mask had broke down fully in front of her, with no chance of repairing it, Dante decided that it was best to at least keep some of his act. He had become so good at it after all…

And it would keep Lady of his trail too.

Until out of nowhere, a mirror appeared in his main room. He kept his distance from it and refused to even think about it. As soon as Trish walked through the door, she was under attack with many questions that Dante had to ask. She shushed him with a finger to his lips and simply said: 'To help you.'

Dante growled at her and gave her the cold shoulder for the rest of the week. He began giving Lady the cold shoulder for asking too many questions, feeling that she was getting to nosy for his liking and so he blocked her out. They were both blocked out.

Dante didn't need either of them…he was all alone and he liked it. It was how he got things done.

_Crack._

This was the last and final time a mirror was broken and shattered from his hand.

He had another nightmare involving his brother, a waterfall and his mother. Apparently not only did his brother blame him for his death…his mother did too. And his father…

Dante woke up with the feeling that he had let them all down and he resolved to end it. He marched down stairs and stood in front of the mirror with his eyes clenched shut. He slowly breathed in and out, keeping himself steady before opening up one eye. Then the other. And then Dante leant in.

He saw himself. The long snowy-white hair, the boyish face, the ocean-blue eyes. It was Dante all over and he was proud of himself…but then the image started to morph. His reflections hair started to spike upwards, his face grew more pointed and regal and his eyes lost their softness and grew hard and icy.

The warm smile had disappeared and a cold smirk took its place.

_Crack._

Dante used to love mirrors…

_Crack._

…Now he can't stand them.

_Crack._

_Crack._

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**An angst ridden Dante is a hard Dante to write about...he's just so happy-go-lucky all the time!**

**So...please review and tell me how I am doing...I am a dreadful whore for them...**

**NEXT CHAPTER: My Father's Legacy**

**Love City Girl**

**x-x-x-x-x-x**


	3. Father

**This isn't as good as the last two I must admit...but hopefully you'll like it anyway.**

**Shortest one yet...meh, I'm losing my writing mo-jo!**

**This is centered upon Sparda and what Dante thinks of him.**

**The parts in italics is the legend of Sparda in my own words...so...**

**ENJOY!**

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My Father's Legacy

_It all started 2000 years ago…_

_The evil demon lord Mundus had ambitions…_

_Those ambitions involved the demise of the human world…_

That's how the story goes, isn't it?

Mundus, the evil demon lord…the prince of darkness…had set his sights on the human realm and all who lived in it. His greed and his lust for power had surpassed the very demons created from such sins.

The few demons who had escaped were terrorizing the innocent and tempting them into a life of sin. When a human encountered a demon…they were either dead of left begging for death.

All hope was almost lost as more and more demons entered the realm of humans…

But that hope was regained when a hero came to save them…their hero took the form of the Legendary Dark Knight.

Sparda.

_But, the human realm had nothing to fear…_

_As their saviour had come for them. Sparda._

_The Legendary Dark Knight._

Sparda with his courage, strength and faith opposed Mundus and turned his back on his own kind. He fought them for days, weeks, months…

But he never backed down, even when his side was losing…he never gave up hope.

In some twisted way, that was exactly how Dante acted in the midst of a tough challenge. No matter how much he hated his father…he couldn't help but admit that without the man, Dante would be nothing…

That being said…without the man, Dante's life could have been a lot simpler.

2000 years ago the human realm had been rescued by Sparda…they saw this as a blessing.

Dante saw it as a curse disguised as a blessing.

_With his sword, he destroyed all the evil entities._

_And sealed them off, using a spell consisting of blood and magic._

_His powers were too trapped as well._

With his joined amulets, his blood he started the spell. The last thing that was needed was a young priestess. Pure and innocent…her blood joined his as she was sacrificed in order to seal the demons away in a magnificent structure.

Temen-Ni-Gru.

Although his demonic power had been sealed away as well, Sparda still held the many attributes that came with having demonic blood.

Sparda was still stronger, faster and far more powerful than the average man, but having his powers sealed away had made it a lot harder to live amongst the humans. Especially because they were in complete awe of him and so wherever he went, he always had his own groups of followers behind him.

It was too bad that not one of those followers were the one person he so sorely desired. She was beautiful, sweet and the gentlest person he had ever met…and she didn't even fear him.

Not one bit.

Dante knew that he had inherited his mother's fearlessness. She was a strong woman but underneath it all was a compassionate person who loved her family and would do anything to protect them…

**Anything.**

_Losing his power didn't compare to the one thing he had found to be even better…_

_Eva…his beautiful, loving wife. His human wife._

_And from their love, came two hybrid sons._

_One made of ice, wisdom and agility._

_And one made of fire, laughter and strength._

Eventually his desire for the young human became too great and so he pursued her. He flattered and spoilt her with gifts and compliments. Soon enough, she went from being his human desire to his human bride.

They moved away, far away from the city and the people who lived their in favour of a quiet little house in the suburbs. And it was in that house where Sparda sired his two sons. Twins to be more exact.

Dante and Vergil…named after the men in Eva's favourite book

Losing his power was worth it in Sparda's eyes as he gazed upon the most beautiful sight he had ever seen…his family.

Dante knew deep down that he couldn't truly despise the man he called father. But sometimes he couldn't help but wonder what could have been different if his father was a human…some normal man who didn't have a thousand enemies.

A thousand enemies who could keep a grudge. A thousand enemies who came after Dante because of what his father had done. A thousand enemies who wanted Dante dead because of his father's betrayal to the demon realm.

Every time a foe crossed his path it wouldn't be because he was Dante…but because he was Dante **son of Sparda**!

And that made the hatred build up even more.

_But as time went on Sparda soon retired to the after life…_

_Though, none have forgotten his bravery and his compassion._

_No one has been able to surpass his great power…not even his own sons…_

Sparda, like all other living things in the world eventually had to…'move on' as it were. He gave his wife one last kiss as she slept soundly and wandered into Dante and Vergil's room. Sparda sighed softly as they remained in a deep sleep.

He knew that their futures have been set for them considering what he had done. No matter how powerful the barriers were, the demons would always have a way of returning to the human world.

Only one reason gave them the motivation to escape Hell.

Revenge.

Sparda knew this and he also knew that his sons were strong, determined and force to be reckoned with when they were fighting together. He crept up silently to their beds and kissed their foreheads gently. He felt his throat contract and his heart ached as he left the house, but nothing gave him a greater shock than the wetness that had fallen down his cheeks.

The Legendary Dark Knight was crying…

He twisted his mouth into a slight smile and just carried on walking. He didn't know where he was going and whether it was back to Hell or not…all he knew was that he regretted nothing.

Dante had felt that kiss on his forehead; he had sensed his father's presence beside him in his room. It infuriated him to no end that his father hadn't even bothered to leave a note or a message…it infuriated him because of that one action…that one simple action of getting up and leaving…it had caused a chain of events to slowly unfurl.

The death of his beautiful mother…the corruption and death of his beloved brother…

Everything…from Dante's fear of mirrors to his concrete masks.

However, in order to get his life on track Dante had accomplished the one thing Vergil had failed at…he had gotten get better. Better than his Sparda. He was stronger, more powerful, more agile…

And he swore that **if **he ever had his own son he would **never **bear such a responsibility his father had left onto him.

But Dante realised it wasn't as easy as that and so he vowed not to ever have a child. He could never bestow such a life on an innocent being when they had not chosen it.

Never.

_Until now…_

_Dante Sparda…has his own legacy._

He was better then his father.

He had surpassed the Legendary Dark Knight and now he, Dante Sparda was legend in his own right.

In 2000 years time…it wouldn't be Sparda the humans' would remember…

No…

It would be Dante.

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**Meh...My Mirror Image was ten times better than this!**

**NEXT CHAPTER: My New Beginning**

**Please review...tell me what's bad and what's good!**

**Love City Girl**

**x-x-x-x-x-x**


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